Real Weddings: Zoë and Tyler

Wow! Working with Zoë and Tyler was an incredible privilege.  They were totally into the reflective process that I mindfully guide couples through before I write their ceremony. Zoë and Tyler, like all the the couples I work with, BELIEVE in the transformative power of ceremony. They found the time spent reflecting on the deeper meaning of the life transition that is marriage to be immensely valuable.

Zoë and Tyler made a strong commitment to this process… in fact the strongest I’ve ever experienced with a couple.  They journalled and thought deeply about the questions I asked.  And thus they gave me FANTASTIC material to weave the storytelling tapestry of their wedding ceremony from.

Far too many wedding ceremonies these days feel like some sort of hoop to jump through. Zoë and Tyler couldn’t imagine having a ceremony like that. This couple wanted their wedding ceremony to sing with their intentions and their feelings. They wanted it to be an authentic reflection of their innermost selves.

When a ceremony is alive with this much meaning, it is a transformational and very collective experience. We don’t have many of those anymore, do we?

The ceremony was held at the Rose Garden in New Westminister on the one brilliantly sunny day in a week of rain.  My powers as a keeper-away of rain seem to be developing well!  The couple’s guests sat in a semicircle facing them, so they could see every smile and tear on Zoë and Tyler’s faces.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the ring warming and the Handfasting ritual… fielded lots of enthusiastic comments and questions afterwards. People loved hearing all the things that Zoë and Tyler respect and admire about each other… and about the things that they do to bring laughter and kindness into their days.

Family is VIP to both, and I loved that they held Japanese prayer beads belonging to Zoe’s parents, who had them at their own wedding.  Here is a photo.  All the photos here were taken by the lovely Jenny of Jenny Photography.  She really cares!

Real Weddings: Christine and Derek

I’m eagerly awaiting the photos from Christine and Derek’s fun and meaning filled wedding ceremony on the cedar deck at the Capilano Suspension Bridge. Until then their spectacular cupcake ‘wedding cake’ will do just perfectly.  Can you see the two wee cakes with the couple’s names written into a heart?

Christine found me after watching me on the documentary “Thoroughly Modern Marriage” on CBC. You can see it for yourself by clicking HERE. We hit it off straight away and when I met Derek, I knew they were a great match… and that I was the right ‘match’ to guide and officiate their ceremony.

Before the couple entered the ceremonial space, I warmed up their guests and got them all feeling the power of connection.  Though many people present knew hardly anyone, we quickly established a whole bunch of commonalities that made folks laugh and get revved for the ceremony.  They could tell that this one was going to be way better than the standard boring-same-old.

Bride and Groom happily beside me facing their guests, I embarked on a journey of storytelling about Derek and Christine.  To me it is the personal narrative that rocks the ceremony.  Personal narrative takes a universal human rite and makes it relatable, important, and powerful.  This couple’s story was full of the twists and turns of real life. To honour their rock climbing spirits, I spoke of the trust and bond that comes from Belaying ones partner.  What a fantastic metaphor for the relationship Christine and Derek have already cultivated and for the marriage they have now stepped into.

We even used a rock climbing rope for the Handfasting!  Derek planned it well.  His bestman brought out THE WHOLE THING, all 50 metres of it!  Family and friends loved the surprise. And no, I only wrapped their hands with a portion of it!

Though there was tons of warm laughter and light-hearted moments in Christine and Derek’s wedding ceremony, it was imbued with meaning throughout.  Moments where the couple saw only each other… moments where guests remembered the force of love in their own lives…  moments of sheer beauty and grace.  I loved every second!

Christine said later that, “We had so many comments from people saying, ‘That was the nicest ceremony I have ever witnessed – including my OWN!”

That makes me happy!

Michele Davidson for Modern Celebrant