Real Weddings: Michelle and Dave

Michelle and Dave’s wedding ceremony and celebration was truly a reflection of THEM… in every detail.  I truly admire this couple for the mindful spirit they brought to literally everything about the day, and their planning for it. The transformative energy of their first steps into their marriage was palpable to everyone present.  And don’t you just love the lighting and tonal quality of these photographs by the brilliant Rafael Ferri of Match Studio!

Michelle and Dave wanted to be married on the first day of Spring… a day of new beginnings and fresh starts.  How wonderful to come together as a community to honour the sacred human ritual of marriage making, on a day also rich with universal symbolism.

We did the ceremony outside in a local park, near the water in beautiful Port Moody.  Life in all its glorious forms was evident all around our merry gathering of 20 or so nearest and dearest.  The cherry blossoms were just out, kids were wheeling nearby on their scooters, and families were enjoying the incredible day.  I loved the swirl of energy all around us.

Speaking of cherry blossoms… Dave is a talented painter and he hand painted the wedding invitations.  I have mine on my desk, beside me as I write this. It is soon to be framed!  It’s a vignette of cherry trees in blossom with a couple seated on a bench under the canopy of blossoms.  We can’t see their faces, but we know it is Michelle and Dave… seated on ‘their’ bench in the park where they chose to be married.  This is the kind of intention and thought that Michelle and Dave brought to everything about their wedding day.

The couple are avid members of the mountain biking community, indeed they met on a ride, and so I had a lot of fun weaving the story of their meeting for their guests during the ceremony.  Also the tale of how they knew they were a perfect match very soon after they met.

Though it was a sunny but nippy day, everyone enjoyed themselves immensely and folks were fascinated with the Handfasting I performed.  Such a tangible joining ritual, and one that is centuries old though rarely seen today.  We romped on the boardwalk for photos in the growing twilight afterwards and then Michelle and Dave treated everyone to a lovely dinner at the restaurant where they had their first dinner together.  Love it love it love it!

Here are some more of Rafael’s snaps… is it my imagination or are the colours remarkably fine? 

And I can’t resist sharing a note from Michelle that followed in the days after the ceremony.

“Michele…. Dave and I can’t thank you enough for making our wedding day a remarkable one. We both are so honoured to have had you there. You are a special gift to all who come in contact with you. Some friends who weren’t even there, just read the ceremony and were brought to tears by your beautiful words. Those who were there felt what Dave and I felt in the air. There aren’t enough Thank Yous to express our feelings. You will be a part of our lives always.

Love, Michelle and Dave”    BACK AT YA!

Putting the Ceremony back into the Wedding

As a Celebrant who prides myself on performing deeply meaningful wedding ceremonies, it’s a little embarrassing to confess that I watch cheesy wedding reality TV. You see I’m an eternal optimist. And because of my profession as a wedding celebrant (officiant), I keep hoping that one of these TV couples will devote as much energy to their wedding ceremony as they do their chocolate dessert fountain!

For that is truly the worst part of these shows for me… how little importance is attached to the ceremony that actually begins the couple’s marriage. All too often on TV, it’s just about the bling.

Fortunately in my practice, real life couples are much more sane! I see a strong trend of couples seeking Fresh, Unique, and Memorable, when it comes to their wedding ceremony.

These smart couples are doing what I refer to as, “Putting the Ceremony back into the Wedding”, They are turning towards meaningful wedding experiences that reflect their personalities and values… And rejecting flashy events where it’s all about the show.

Today’s most progressive weddings are the essence of elegant-simplicity, where the ceremony sets the tone for the couple’s entire day, as well as their wedding memories. Far from being a hoop to jump through, these couples want the ceremony that begins their marriage to be deeply resonate of ‘them’.

I’m so glad to see this. These occasions are incredibly powerful and important. A wedding ceremony written exclusively for and about a couple feels so true, so honest. Guests should be on the edge of their seat as they listen to the story of the couple; they feel they are part of the experience and not merely observing.

A well-written wedding ceremony should be like a tapestry, woven from the hopes and dreams, stories and tales, which the couple shares with their officiant in the collaboration stage. The best wedding ceremonies are always collaborations. Never let an officiant impose a ceremony upon you!

Since a deeply meaningful wedding ceremony is so dependent upon working with the right officiant, it’s so important to find the right person. You should look for someone who is a ceremonial writer, a warm and emotive speaker, a guide, and who you can trust implicitly.

Many officiants have no specific training in ceremony. Look for those who have a sound background in the relevance of ritual and ceremony, knowledge of a wide variety of ceremonial traditions, ability to design and manage the ceremony itself, and a wealth of experience. She or he should be able to truly ‘get you’. Never feel embarrassed about asking for credentials, references, samples, and testimonials. A respectable officiant will never be offended or refuse these.

In closing, let me tell you from personal experience that it’s all too easy to get caught up in the details of planning a wedding. My advice is to treat your ceremony with reverence and find an officiant who will too. Put your ceremony into your wedding day and don’t settle for a boring cookie cutter ceremony written for someone else!

Myths, symbols, and the Haida

I’ve been reflecting on a recent trip to Haida Gwaii (Islands of the People), which is an isolated grouping of some 150 islands off the coast of BC.

Today’s Haida are descendants of the islands’ original inhabitants who were known for their incredible seamanship and their skills in warfare.  Museum anthropologist Diamond Jenness has compared the Haida to Vikings.  Did you know that the Haida are credited with the introduction of the totem pole and the bent box?

While I was there I had the experience of a lifetime visiting the Haida Heritage Centre at Kaay Llnagaay. It’s a magnificent 53,000 sq. ft. cedar complex consisting of five contemporary monumental timber longhouses. The Centre houses the Haida Gwaii Museum with exhibition space, meeting rooms/classrooms, a Performing House, a Canoe House, a Carving Shed and the Bill Reid Teaching Centre.

There is something powerful about Haida Gwaii.  Even my husband, who isn’t hugely spiritual seeking, noticed a sense of significance and timelessness.  We both had unusual dreams, perhaps from the rich imagery and ancient forests.

Throughout my journey to Haida Gwaii, I was filled with admiration to see the commitment and dedication of the Haida people.  Elders and youth alike are working hard to awaken the myths and symbols of their collective unconscious and their daily lives.

I strongly connected!  As a Celebrant, I bring to life the universal human myths and symbols of our own culture.  Symbolism that the vast majority of people in today’s techno-society seem to have shut their eyes and ears to.

It’s SO interesting to me that these same people spend a great deal of money to get to remote Haida Gwaii for the purpose of standing before the old totem and mortuary poles of the Haida nation.  Eco-and-cultural-tourists gaze with reverence and awe at the poles, and eagerly seek to understand the myths and symbols represented on them.

Yet in their own lives they shut themselves off to the opportunities for symbolic representation of human experience that exist in their own lives – right here – right now.  As though they don’t deserve archetypes.

But every time I work with one of my wonderful clients – individuals, couples, and families – I get excited!  Yes!!!

With virtually all my clients, I see that they inwardly they yearn for the significant events of their lives to be meaningful and relevant.

When I perform ceremonies, I often have the sense that I’m stepping through a portal; a doorway that takes me from the mundane into the sacred.  To put it another way, in a good ceremony the unconscious is brought to consciousness. The ceremony itself is an outward expression of the client’s innermost emotions.

To be successful in my celebrancy practice, much of my time is spent discovering the deeper meaning of my clients’ experiences.  I’m working with some truly amazing couples and families right now (mostly baby and wedding ceremonies) and look so forward to the coming months of ceremonial experiences.

Huge gratitude to the dignified Haida people for the inspiration.  And also for the incredible mythic dreams their land gifted me with.  (I dreamt I was one of the figures on a totem pole!)

Summer Wedding Ceremony Bookings

Dear Readers,

I think I jinxed myself by saying in my last post that I was enjoying the blue bird skies of February — it’s SNOWING as I write this!

A quick post to let prospective brides and grooms know that my summer is booking up quickly.  It books up fast because I perform only one ceremony a day.  Recently someone asked me why I limit myself (and my income) this way.

Here are my thoughts on the issue.

Many officiants stack their clients, performing multiple ceremonies in a day.  But I have never felt that fit with my personal integrity.  I embrace every ceremony with passion and my fullest attention.  It’s what my clients deserve!

Each of my ceremonies is full of enchanting moments.  No two are ever the same.  They are as distinctive as the wonderful individuals, couples, or families who commission me to write about their story. Whether it’s a wedding, baby ceremony, or memorial — I am the one who ‘holds’ the ceremonial space.  This requires a lot of energy…I really have to be ON.  So I simply cannot imagine running from ceremony to ceremony.

Besides, what if a time-sensitive event like a wedding was delayed and I had to leave to get to the next one on my schedule.  Wouldn’t that be terrible?  I hear it does happen out there.  So…THIS is why I do one ceremony per day.  On extremely rare occasions I do two, but only if one is in the morning and the other is in the evening  — and only if all parties agree.

With that said…

For 2009, I am available to perform ceremonies any day of the week, with weddings typically taking place on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

Please let me know your date as soon as you can to avoid disappointment — yours and mine.

Oh, and I just found out about a new bridal directory, for those of you who are interested.  It’s at www.bridalclarity.com.  There’s an eco-wedding section that might interest you.

Now the sun is shining.  Vancouver weather is crazy.  Brides, plan accordingly!

Bye for now,

Michele

A Garden Wedding Ceremony in Coquitlam BC

I always like to see a couple invest in the things that truly matter.  Lana and Cory focused on creating a custom wedding ceremony experience that totally spoke to who they are and how they wanted to feel.

Cory is more reserved than Lana.  He was nervous about the wedding ceremony.   But as you can see from his big grin in this photo, Cory had a great time!  If I can make a nervous groom guffaw at his wedding, then I’ve done my job well.

And while apparently it’s the butt of many jokes, Lana and Cory both love how different they are. They shared such funny stories with me of their life.  I decided to include a number of them in my storytelling.  Family and friends were effusive after the ceremony about how much they enjoyed it.  Most said they had learned things about Lana and Cory that they never knew before.

Lana has an adorable young son named Ryder from a previous relationship. Ryder lives with Lana and Cory full time and thus Cory has taken on a father figure role.  Apparently he’s done it really well, as Ryder calls him “Daddy-Dude!”  So cute.

We wanted Ryder to have a role in the wedding ceremony, to acknowledge that Lana and Cory’s marital relationship is also a family relationship.  It was so important to Lana and Cory that we find a way to publicly and symbolically include Ryder within the embrace of their marriage.

There are many ways to include children, but one that I especially like is a Sand Ceremony. If you are interested, please email or call me to have me describe the intent and deeper meaning.

Following this very moving portion of the ceremony, Cory got down on his knees – so he could look directly at Ryder.  Cory impressed me so much with the vows of love he made to Ryder. Was there a dry eye in the house?  I think not!

Joyfully yours,

Celebrant Michele Davidson, Vancouver Wedding Officiant, Custom Wedding Ceremonies Vancouver and Whistler