A Story of: Purpose

Connecting to the poetry and the mystery of life

Since I was a little girl, I’ve had the ability to listen deeply and use all my senses to be deeply present with others. I was blessed with the gift to connect with people in ways that make it easy for them to tell their stories and share their feelings. When I trained to be a palliative care volunteer, learning to be with death gave me the opportunity to see how rich our lives really are.

All my life I have been driven by a strong sense of purpose and a passion for meaning. My mother called me her ‘Quester’. It wasn’t really a surprise to anyone when I entered the Buddhist spiritual path over twenty years ago. Contemplative practice is the anchor of my life.

Yet I am not immune to emotional chaos

In my early 40’s I was buffeted by the collision of significant life transitions within just three short years. My wedding, the suicide of my most beloved friend, a family member’s addiction and recovery, job change, back to school, renovations, major surgery, and the deaths of both my cats… Yikes! I can tell you that it was a raw but defining period of my life.

I definitely had meaningful spiritual rituals to hold me up when I was going through all this ‘stuff’ but they simply weren’t enough. My operating mode is to seek the blessings in my obstacles. And so I allowed these painful experiences to lead me to new realizations. I clearly saw what a poor job our society does of teaching us how to mark the passage times of our lives, not to mention how to absorb and learn to embrace these monumental changes.

Weaving personal narrative with meaningful traditions and rites

What was missing for me was the personal narrative. So I got all fired up about learning to bring storytelling back into our ceremonies. I left a successful career and went back to school to become an interfaith Celebrant. In 2007, I became the first professionally certified Celebrant in BC and one of the only ceremonial writers in Canada. I am inspired to serve people of all faiths and cultural backgrounds — religious, spiritual, or not at all — to discover the rich currents of life through ceremony.

For me, being a Celebrant is all about helping others give voice to what is meaningful to them. To help them see and feel more deeply. It is this that brings grace to my life. It is the embodiment of the Buddhist principle of Right Livelihood. I feel so blessed to have found what I love to do and what I am good at in this life. Using it to serve others is the greatest gift of all.

 With heart,

Celebrant Michele Davidson

Custom Wedding Ceremony at the Edgewater Lodge, Whistler BC

gadbois photography

Meet Ellie and Kirk. Aficionados of Fluevog… Unique soles for unique souls. Yep. These two are unique souls for sure and they wanted their entire wedding day to reflect their personalities. Including their custom Wedding Ceremony. They knew they wanted a Wedding Celebrant, did a search and found Modern Celebrant.

It was love at first sight for me when I met Ellie and Kirk. What a fun experience to vision a wedding ceremony for this hipster couple. They definitely did not want just a pretty ceremony, with rituals and words that looked and sounded nice but were empty of meaning.  A “Boring same-old, same-old” wedding ceremony wouldn’t have suited them AT ALL!

Ellie and Kirk wanted what I am passionate about creating… a wedding ceremony created from the inside, from the heart — through reflection and learning. This thoughtful open-hearted couple shared thoughtful words with me about their vision for their wedding day. They wanted it to “…be a day to savour. A day to slow things down and let everyone who shares our wedding day take stock of the love in their own lives and realize how important they are to us.” For Kirk and Ellie it was also a chance to stamp a certain point in time and say, “This is the one I love. This is US showing our community how much we mean to each other!” Read More >

Real Weddings: Zoë and Tyler

Wow! Working with Zoë and Tyler was an incredible privilege.  They were totally into the reflective process that I mindfully guide couples through before I write their ceremony. Zoë and Tyler, like all the the couples I work with, BELIEVE in the transformative power of ceremony. They found the time spent reflecting on the deeper meaning of the life transition that is marriage to be immensely valuable.

Zoë and Tyler made a strong commitment to this process… in fact the strongest I’ve ever experienced with a couple.  They journalled and thought deeply about the questions I asked.  And thus they gave me FANTASTIC material to weave the storytelling tapestry of their wedding ceremony from.

Far too many wedding ceremonies these days feel like some sort of hoop to jump through. Zoë and Tyler couldn’t imagine having a ceremony like that. This couple wanted their wedding ceremony to sing with their intentions and their feelings. They wanted it to be an authentic reflection of their innermost selves.

When a ceremony is alive with this much meaning, it is a transformational and very collective experience. We don’t have many of those anymore, do we?

The ceremony was held at the Rose Garden in New Westminister on the one brilliantly sunny day in a week of rain.  My powers as a keeper-away of rain seem to be developing well!  The couple’s guests sat in a semicircle facing them, so they could see every smile and tear on Zoë and Tyler’s faces.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the ring warming and the Handfasting ritual… fielded lots of enthusiastic comments and questions afterwards. People loved hearing all the things that Zoë and Tyler respect and admire about each other… and about the things that they do to bring laughter and kindness into their days.

Family is VIP to both, and I loved that they held Japanese prayer beads belonging to Zoe’s parents, who had them at their own wedding.  Here is a photo.  All the photos here were taken by the lovely Jenny of Jenny Photography.  She really cares!

Real Weddings: Michelle and Dave

Michelle and Dave’s wedding ceremony and celebration was truly a reflection of THEM… in every detail.  I truly admire this couple for the mindful spirit they brought to literally everything about the day, and their planning for it. The transformative energy of their first steps into their marriage was palpable to everyone present.  And don’t you just love the lighting and tonal quality of these photographs by the brilliant Rafael Ferri of Match Studio!

Michelle and Dave wanted to be married on the first day of Spring… a day of new beginnings and fresh starts.  How wonderful to come together as a community to honour the sacred human ritual of marriage making, on a day also rich with universal symbolism.

We did the ceremony outside in a local park, near the water in beautiful Port Moody.  Life in all its glorious forms was evident all around our merry gathering of 20 or so nearest and dearest.  The cherry blossoms were just out, kids were wheeling nearby on their scooters, and families were enjoying the incredible day.  I loved the swirl of energy all around us.

Speaking of cherry blossoms… Dave is a talented painter and he hand painted the wedding invitations.  I have mine on my desk, beside me as I write this. It is soon to be framed!  It’s a vignette of cherry trees in blossom with a couple seated on a bench under the canopy of blossoms.  We can’t see their faces, but we know it is Michelle and Dave… seated on ‘their’ bench in the park where they chose to be married.  This is the kind of intention and thought that Michelle and Dave brought to everything about their wedding day.

The couple are avid members of the mountain biking community, indeed they met on a ride, and so I had a lot of fun weaving the story of their meeting for their guests during the ceremony.  Also the tale of how they knew they were a perfect match very soon after they met.

Though it was a sunny but nippy day, everyone enjoyed themselves immensely and folks were fascinated with the Handfasting I performed.  Such a tangible joining ritual, and one that is centuries old though rarely seen today.  We romped on the boardwalk for photos in the growing twilight afterwards and then Michelle and Dave treated everyone to a lovely dinner at the restaurant where they had their first dinner together.  Love it love it love it!

Here are some more of Rafael’s snaps… is it my imagination or are the colours remarkably fine? 

And I can’t resist sharing a note from Michelle that followed in the days after the ceremony.

“Michele…. Dave and I can’t thank you enough for making our wedding day a remarkable one. We both are so honoured to have had you there. You are a special gift to all who come in contact with you. Some friends who weren’t even there, just read the ceremony and were brought to tears by your beautiful words. Those who were there felt what Dave and I felt in the air. There aren’t enough Thank Yous to express our feelings. You will be a part of our lives always.

Love, Michelle and Dave”    BACK AT YA!

Putting the Ceremony back into the Wedding

As a Celebrant who prides myself on performing deeply meaningful wedding ceremonies, it’s a little embarrassing to confess that I watch cheesy wedding reality TV. You see I’m an eternal optimist. And because of my profession as a wedding celebrant (officiant), I keep hoping that one of these TV couples will devote as much energy to their wedding ceremony as they do their chocolate dessert fountain!

For that is truly the worst part of these shows for me… how little importance is attached to the ceremony that actually begins the couple’s marriage. All too often on TV, it’s just about the bling.

Fortunately in my practice, real life couples are much more sane! I see a strong trend of couples seeking Fresh, Unique, and Memorable, when it comes to their wedding ceremony.

These smart couples are doing what I refer to as, “Putting the Ceremony back into the Wedding”, They are turning towards meaningful wedding experiences that reflect their personalities and values… And rejecting flashy events where it’s all about the show.

Today’s most progressive weddings are the essence of elegant-simplicity, where the ceremony sets the tone for the couple’s entire day, as well as their wedding memories. Far from being a hoop to jump through, these couples want the ceremony that begins their marriage to be deeply resonate of ‘them’.

I’m so glad to see this. These occasions are incredibly powerful and important. A wedding ceremony written exclusively for and about a couple feels so true, so honest. Guests should be on the edge of their seat as they listen to the story of the couple; they feel they are part of the experience and not merely observing.

A well-written wedding ceremony should be like a tapestry, woven from the hopes and dreams, stories and tales, which the couple shares with their officiant in the collaboration stage. The best wedding ceremonies are always collaborations. Never let an officiant impose a ceremony upon you!

Since a deeply meaningful wedding ceremony is so dependent upon working with the right officiant, it’s so important to find the right person. You should look for someone who is a ceremonial writer, a warm and emotive speaker, a guide, and who you can trust implicitly.

Many officiants have no specific training in ceremony. Look for those who have a sound background in the relevance of ritual and ceremony, knowledge of a wide variety of ceremonial traditions, ability to design and manage the ceremony itself, and a wealth of experience. She or he should be able to truly ‘get you’. Never feel embarrassed about asking for credentials, references, samples, and testimonials. A respectable officiant will never be offended or refuse these.

In closing, let me tell you from personal experience that it’s all too easy to get caught up in the details of planning a wedding. My advice is to treat your ceremony with reverence and find an officiant who will too. Put your ceremony into your wedding day and don’t settle for a boring cookie cutter ceremony written for someone else!