A forest Wedding Ceremony: Seymour Demonstration Reserve Forest

Okay, I admit it.  Sometimes I cry during wedding ceremonies. The look on Daniel’s face when Radha walked through the forest towards him was certainly one of these!  Radha looked like a forest sprite.  Daniel’s eyes filled up and so did mine.

Radha and Daniel chose a spot in the Seymour Forest Reserve to hold their custom wedding ceremony.  One of Radha’s sisters handed out bubbles to each guest as they entered the forested ceremonial space.  The ground was sprinkled with red rose petals, and the majestic cedars needed no other adornment.

After I had welcomed guests and spoke about what Radha and Daniel had shared with me the ceremony and marriage meant to them, Madhavi (Radha’s sister) read an amazing poem that the couple had selected.

It is called Blessing for a Marriage by James Dillet Freeman.  What a striking and deeply relevant piece.   I encourage you to Google this poem.  It’s a great wedding choice!

I often like to share with wedding guests the couple’s proposal story. Let me share this part of their wedding ceremony with you, dear reader.

“It was Valentine’s Day 2008, and they had just finished eating a wonderful dinner they had cooked together at home. Daniel told Radha he had a small Valentine’s Day present for her, and brought out a gift bag with a nicely wrapped little box in it.  When Radha opened it, there lay a beautiful diamond ring.

Radha says, “I just looked at him, trying to mask my delight in case it wasn’t actually an engagement ring.” She took the ring out of the box and was going to put it on, but Daniel stopped her and said “Wait, it’s an engagement ring!  Shouldn’t I get down on one knee?”  Radha said, “Oh yeah!” and quickly put it back in its case and gave it back to him.

Here’s what Radha says happened next, “Daniel had such a lovely, touching speech, and his voice was shaking. It was so sweet and perfect… he said “I don’t know where life is going to take us, I just know that I want to spend the rest of mine with you.”  And then he asked me if I would marry him. I just couldn’t stop smiling and said ‘Yes!’   I felt so thrilled and joyful.  It was a perfect experience, and very reflective of us.”

Radha and Daniel each wrote their own wedding and ring vows.  What a gift to treasure. I really admired how diligently they must have worked to memorize their vows… It was so important to them to look into one another’s eyes while they spoke their lifelong promises.  Now I KNOW that I wasn’t the only one crying at this point.

Time stands still in moments like these.  True love does exist.  It reaches out to all present.  We forget about the not-so-great things happening in the world, and in these gentle moments we touch our humanity and awaken our collective belief in love.

Radha and Daniel, I hope that many long years from now, you’ll still be found strolling hand-in-hand as in love as you are today!

Joyfully yours,

Celebrant Michele Davidson, Vancouver Wedding Officiant, Custom Wedding Ceremonies Vancouver and Whistler

** Photo by Vancouver Wedding Photographer Cora Henderson of Cora’s Photography.

Myths, symbols, and the Haida

I’ve been reflecting on a recent trip to Haida Gwaii (Islands of the People), which is an isolated grouping of some 150 islands off the coast of BC.

Today’s Haida are descendants of the islands’ original inhabitants who were known for their incredible seamanship and their skills in warfare.  Museum anthropologist Diamond Jenness has compared the Haida to Vikings.  Did you know that the Haida are credited with the introduction of the totem pole and the bent box?

While I was there I had the experience of a lifetime visiting the Haida Heritage Centre at Kaay Llnagaay. It’s a magnificent 53,000 sq. ft. cedar complex consisting of five contemporary monumental timber longhouses. The Centre houses the Haida Gwaii Museum with exhibition space, meeting rooms/classrooms, a Performing House, a Canoe House, a Carving Shed and the Bill Reid Teaching Centre.

There is something powerful about Haida Gwaii.  Even my husband, who isn’t hugely spiritual seeking, noticed a sense of significance and timelessness.  We both had unusual dreams, perhaps from the rich imagery and ancient forests.

Throughout my journey to Haida Gwaii, I was filled with admiration to see the commitment and dedication of the Haida people.  Elders and youth alike are working hard to awaken the myths and symbols of their collective unconscious and their daily lives.

I strongly connected!  As a Celebrant, I bring to life the universal human myths and symbols of our own culture.  Symbolism that the vast majority of people in today’s techno-society seem to have shut their eyes and ears to.

It’s SO interesting to me that these same people spend a great deal of money to get to remote Haida Gwaii for the purpose of standing before the old totem and mortuary poles of the Haida nation.  Eco-and-cultural-tourists gaze with reverence and awe at the poles, and eagerly seek to understand the myths and symbols represented on them.

Yet in their own lives they shut themselves off to the opportunities for symbolic representation of human experience that exist in their own lives – right here – right now.  As though they don’t deserve archetypes.

But every time I work with one of my wonderful clients – individuals, couples, and families – I get excited!  Yes!!!

With virtually all my clients, I see that they inwardly they yearn for the significant events of their lives to be meaningful and relevant.

When I perform ceremonies, I often have the sense that I’m stepping through a portal; a doorway that takes me from the mundane into the sacred.  To put it another way, in a good ceremony the unconscious is brought to consciousness. The ceremony itself is an outward expression of the client’s innermost emotions.

To be successful in my celebrancy practice, much of my time is spent discovering the deeper meaning of my clients’ experiences.  I’m working with some truly amazing couples and families right now (mostly baby and wedding ceremonies) and look so forward to the coming months of ceremonial experiences.

Huge gratitude to the dignified Haida people for the inspiration.  And also for the incredible mythic dreams their land gifted me with.  (I dreamt I was one of the figures on a totem pole!)

A Baby Naming Ceremony for Lucia

Lucia Jolie Candido.  Lucia’s mom and dad, Justine and Rob, wanted to give Lucia a day that was especially for her.  Like many parents these days, they sought an alternative to baptism and christening.  I was so happy that Justine’s internet search led her to me!

One of the most joyful aspects of my Celebrancy practice is giving new parents a contemporary way to welcome their child in the presence of their family and community.  Each ceremony I write is commissioned and that means it’s written for that family.

It was a great pleasure to collaborate with Justine and Rob. Their love for each other and for Lucia inspired me to create a truly special ceremony to celebrate Lucia’s emerging personality, as well as their hopes and dreams for her.  In case you’re wondering how I gathered the information that allowed me to write about Lucia’s unique family story, here’s how it works.

I met with Justine and Rob at their home for a relaxed interview to gather memories.  We chatted about their time as a couple before they became parents, what the pregnancy was like, and what it’s like to be a mother and father. Because Lucia was nearly one year old, it was especially delightful to hear about the first year of her life.

I also had Justine and Rob work on their own on some fun reflection questions. Their answers, combined with the interview, gave me tons of great material.

The day of the ceremony dawned hot and sunny. While guests good naturedly fanned themselves, I spoke to how a child changes the lives of all who love her.  We honoured Lucia’s grandparents, and I shared stories about Rob and Justine’s life together pre-Lucia.  This is important because it helps guests understand how a couple came to have a child; their intentions, hopes, and dreams.

I usually suggest that parents make promises to their child during the ceremony.  Justine and Rob were excited about this and found an incredible reading that reflected their promises to their daughter.  They selected three verses from  100 Promises To My Baby Written by Mallika Chopra.  The first and second verses they took turns reading, and the third they read together.

Dear friends Katja and Ben came and stood with Lucia, Justine, and Rob for the portion of the ceremony where they accepted their responsibilities as godparents. Should something happen to Rob and Justine, Katja and Ben will step in to raise her.  It was so evident that Kaja and Ben were honoured to be entrusted with this important responsibility.  Their words of commitment were very meaningful.

We closed by forming a circle around this little family.  Lucia was held high by her parents for all to adore while we blew bubbles of celebration!

A Garden Wedding Ceremony in Coquitlam BC

I always like to see a couple invest in the things that truly matter.  Lana and Cory focused on creating a custom wedding ceremony experience that totally spoke to who they are and how they wanted to feel.

Cory is more reserved than Lana.  He was nervous about the wedding ceremony.   But as you can see from his big grin in this photo, Cory had a great time!  If I can make a nervous groom guffaw at his wedding, then I’ve done my job well.

And while apparently it’s the butt of many jokes, Lana and Cory both love how different they are. They shared such funny stories with me of their life.  I decided to include a number of them in my storytelling.  Family and friends were effusive after the ceremony about how much they enjoyed it.  Most said they had learned things about Lana and Cory that they never knew before.

Lana has an adorable young son named Ryder from a previous relationship. Ryder lives with Lana and Cory full time and thus Cory has taken on a father figure role.  Apparently he’s done it really well, as Ryder calls him “Daddy-Dude!”  So cute.

We wanted Ryder to have a role in the wedding ceremony, to acknowledge that Lana and Cory’s marital relationship is also a family relationship.  It was so important to Lana and Cory that we find a way to publicly and symbolically include Ryder within the embrace of their marriage.

There are many ways to include children, but one that I especially like is a Sand Ceremony. If you are interested, please email or call me to have me describe the intent and deeper meaning.

Following this very moving portion of the ceremony, Cory got down on his knees – so he could look directly at Ryder.  Cory impressed me so much with the vows of love he made to Ryder. Was there a dry eye in the house?  I think not!

Joyfully yours,

Celebrant Michele Davidson, Vancouver Wedding Officiant, Custom Wedding Ceremonies Vancouver and Whistler

Scattering Ashes in Vancouver: A custom Memorial Ceremony

Ash Scattering Ceremony for Glyn Neal Ewen

The ceremony commissioned by Trish Ewen to remember her husband Glyn and commit his ashes to the sea was the ceremony that meant the most to me this year.

Glyn died tragically in a climbing accident on Mt. Baker on September 2, 2001. On the day of his Committal Ceremony, Glyn would have been 50 years old. As with many people who find their way to acceptance around such a death, Glyn’s wife Trish had to move through feelings of powerlessness before she could transform her pain into positive emotional awareness.

Immediately upon meeting Trish I had the clear sense that this ceremony needed to be as much about her as it was about Glyn.  It would serve as a signpost of sorts.  A symbolic way of empowering Trish as she clarified new directions in her life.  And to help her take direct and purposeful steps forward.

Trish was definitely ready to fly again!

The ceremony was dignified, respectful, and open.  At the interview, Trish had shared wonderful stories with me about Glyn; stories that were truthful, honest, and real.  Through her words and the letters she gave me to read, I was able to form a picture of Glyn as a man, a husband, a father, and well, just himself.

I enjoyed writing and delivering the eulogy for this unique man.  It celebrated Glyn’s strengths, honoured his personal obstacles, and included some humour too.  Because, like all of us, Glyn had his quirks.  And his quirks helped to make him who he was.

The event wouldn’t have been what it was, without the circle of women who had come to stand with Trish and her daughter Morgan. In an email to Trish afterwards, I said, “One cannot force a ceremony to be profound, it is the participants who make it so.”  This was certainly true about these women. What a loving, sensitive, and fun group.

Following my eulogy and the words I spoke about Trish and Morgan’s journey over these last seven years, we gathered on the shoreline for the scattering of Glyn’s ashes.

First I asked each guest to touch their hands to the vessel containing Glyn’s remains.  The vessel was returned to Trish. And then her good friend Debbie passed around a bag of rose petals. Each guest held a handful of petals in her hands while I read a time-honoured verse of committal. At the close of the verse, Trish waded into the sea to return Glyn to the elements.

I have such a poignant image in my mind of her facing out to sea with Glyn’s ashes floating away trailed by pink and yellow rose petals. The colours of the setting sun caught both the ashes and the petals.  The light was magnificent and somehow gentle.

As I stood in the water behind Trish, I could tell from her body language that her heroic spirit had emerged from a life turned upside down by Glyn’s tragic and sudden death.  Returning to the shoreline and to the wonderful women who were silently watching the rose petals dance in the tidal currents, it was evident that they too felt Trish’s peace and liberation.

Following the committal we had a big communal feast there on the beach.  Trish opened a well-aged bottle of something wonderful that Glyn had been saving.  We toasted Glyn’s memory, and also raised our glasses to a new beginning that had grown out of an ending.

Trish surprised us by giving each woman a stunning Bird of Paradise flower and a starfish plate.  And I must say I was overwhelmed at the Tibetan singing bowl she gifted me with.  Its tone and pitch is simply amazing.

Thank you Trish and Morgan for trusting me to participate in such an important part of your life.