5 Tips for Creating Moving Multicultural Ceremonies
I am blessed to live in Vancouver with its richly diverse community. Learning about different spiritual and ethnic traditions is one of the great joys of my life. I find inspiration in seeing how others navigate the twists and turns of life. And how different communities celebrate joys and mourn losses.
In my work as a Celebrant, I collaborate with individuals, couples, and families of all backgrounds. My respect (and curiosity!) for other traditions seems to attract those searching for an interfaith officiant. It must be true that what we put out comes back to us!
Over the years, I’ve had the great pleasure of creating and conducting ceremonies for amazing clients of the following backgrounds: Jewish, Persian, Chinese, Evangelical, First Nation, French Canadian, Buddhist, Catholic, Anglican, Armenian Orthodox, Indonesian, Scottish, Greek, and oh boy I surely have missed a few!!!
When the majority of guests do not speak English, or important family members do not, I work with a translator to ensure key portions of the ceremony are understood. My ceremonies have been translated into Mandarin, Cantonese, French, and German.
We experience powerful opportunities for connection when people of differing faiths and cultural traditions come together for a marriage, birth, or death. Rather than be divided by differences, we can use the ceremonies for these occasions to foster memorable shared experiences. Here are five tips for creating meaningful multicultural or multifaith ceremonies.
- Look for underlying universal human truths.
- Honour commonalities between the two traditions.
- Research folk tales.
- Include unifying rituals.
- Learn to speak key words or phrases in a different language.
Look for Underlying Universal Human Truths
We all want to be loved. To feel part of a community. And to be accepted for who we are. Happiness and joy, grief and pain, disappointment… the emotional arc of what it is to be human is experienced by us all. Bring these universal human truths into the ceremony by illuminating experiences and emotional everyone present can relate to.
Honour Commonalities between the Two Traditions
Though two traditions may be very different in some ways, in others there is great similarity. Highlighting the commonalities helps bring connection and welcoming spirit to the ceremony and in interactions beyond. Here’s an example: Chinese and Jewish families place great importance on family. Speak to these important shared values during the ceremony.
Research Folk Tales
I’m a storyteller and love to share folk tales during multifaith or multicultural ceremonies. Participants and guests appreciate the intention and effort! Folk tales or stories bring home deeper meaning in a way that seems to resonate with many listeners. I don’t tell LONG stories, but rather abbreviate them into a paragraph. It is especially wonderful to share folktales from two traditions that illustrate the exact same point! Again, it’s about celebrating what we share.
Include Unifying Rituals
All faiths and cultures have rituals intended to unify self with others and self with the sacred. Spend time learning about these and you will enliven your ceremonies with emotional richness. See if you can combine ritual elements of both traditions. For instance, in a handfasting I once used the crowning ribbons from the orthodox Armenian crowning. Always remember that to be resonate rituals must be relevant and suited to the individuals involved. No rites by rote!
Learn to speak Key Words and Phrases in a Different Language
Learning how to say “Welcome” in Mandarin, “You may kiss the bride” in French, “Mazel Tov” in Hebrew, “Ashes to Ashes” in German, “Sofrey-Aghd” in Persian will endear you to guests and to your clients. Make sure you practice!
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I welcome your comments and would love when you share your own tips!
All for now,
Michele Davidson, Professional Celebrant & Wedding Officiant
Vancouver Wedding Officiant, BC Marriage Commissioner, Justice of the Peace?
Many couples don’t know where to begin searching for someone to create and perform their wedding ceremony.
Marriage Commissioner, Justice of the Peace, Wedding Officiant, Wedding Celebrant, Marriage Officiant, Minister, Chaplain. These are all commonly used terms but what do they really mean?
Here in beautiful British Columbia, there are two primary options when choosing the Officiant for a legal wedding ceremony. I fall into the first category.
ONE) An Officiant recognized as a Religious Representative… someone who has gone through BC’s very strict approval process and is thereby authorized to stand in the power of ceremony. While it may sound formal — it certainly doesn’t need to be! For instance, as an Interfaith Celebrant and Chaplain, my ceremonies are deeply meaningful and completely reflective of the couple’s beliefs, whatever they are.
But I digress… the truth is that this is a very diverse group of people who can perform a wide variety of wedding ceremonies. We range from Lay Chaplains (like me) who work in an Interfaith way (again, like me), to Priests, Ministers, Imams, Rabbis, etc who can guide a very formally religious wedding ceremony in a house of worship. We use a variety of titles: Celebrant, Wedding Officiant, Wedding Chaplain. What we don’t use is Marriage Commissioner ...
TWO) A government appointed Marriage Commissioner who uses a preset script. These ceremonies can be fun if the Marriage Commissioner is willing to make changes to the script to give it a more personal feel. Marriage Commissioner ceremonies are not created or written specifically for the couple. These ceremonies fall into what I call ‘the cookie cutter’ category.
That leaves us with Justice of the Peace. In the past these officers of the peace performed wedding ceremonies in city halls and courthouses around BC. Nowadays the Marriage Commissioner has taken over this role.
Did I muddy the water or make it clearer? Please let me know. I’d like to really help people understand this.
Joyfully yours,
Celebrant Michele Davidson, Vancouver Wedding Officiant, Custom Wedding Ceremonies Vancouver and Whistler
A Custom Wedding Ceremony on Blackcomb Mountain
Riding the new Peak to Peak Chair to a Wedding in the Sky!
The setting for this lovely little wedding ceremony was the top of Blackcomb Mountain on a bluebird summer afternoon.
I love it when couples pull off a mood of elegance and occasion, but with a relaxed easy feel!
Natalie and Jay’s wedding ceremony was all this and how! With just family and a circle of close friends present, their custom wedding ceremony was all about intimacy.
It was so much fun for me to tell the story of how Natalie and Jay came to this place in their lives; to be standing in this beautiful place getting married.
Together, we shared more than a few tears, lots of tender laughter, and an abundance of memorable moments. I’m still tickled that Natalie became so absorbed in my saying the vows for her to repeat, that she forget to repeat them at her cue. One of the sweetest moment of the summer wedding season!!!
I hear from Natalie and Jay that some of their male guests admitted to shedding a tear or two (or maybe three?) and that they consider this a great compliment… me too!
Natalie and Jay are designers, and well, stylish people. They sure know how to plan a party! An added bonus to this wedding was that I got to go on the Peak to Peak Gondola between Whistler and Blackcomb Mountains — the gondola is an engineering feat, breaking three world records and setting up to be Canada’s newest tourism icon.Thanks you two lovebirds for the great ride!!! I was only scared a little.
Joyfully yours,
Celebrant Michele Davidson, Vancouver Wedding Officiant, Custom Wedding Ceremonies Vancouver and Whistler
A Custom Wedding Ceremony at the UBC Boathouse
Renée and Dustin’s wedding ceremony was one of those occasions where the couple, the guests, and I seem to enter an altered reality. A place where time stands still, where people hold the hand of their own loved one a little more tenderly, and the sky is bluer and the grass greener.
The ceremonial experience was nothing short of magical. Held on the dock of the architecturally stunning John M.S. Lecky UBC Boat House in Richmond, right smack alongside the Fraser River. we were cooled by the occasional breeze off the water, serenaded by the sounds of nature, and with just a few steps backwards we would have been in the Fraser River.
Renee and Dustin’s love story is a captivating one that was a great pleasure to weave for their guests. Renée’s mom told me that the ceremony held their family and friends spellbound. It’s true… but for the squawks of the occasional heron flying overhead, you could’ve heard a pin drop. Renée and Dustin were entranced by each other… and we by them!
Here’s a sampling from the ceremony, where I described the couple using some of their own words:
“…How can any of us not be entranced by a couple who both consider themselves introverted-extroverts? Who run full tilt at life, happily forgetting the rules and ignoring what is normally considered rational or sane? Who enthusiastically engage in heated debate one moment, but can be found laughing and silly-dancing the next?
How can we not be captivated when Dustin calls Renée, “a closet hip-hop MC who is never more than a couple meters away from her needles and yarn”? Or by Renée, who, when asked about Dustin’s funny quirks commented, “How much time do you have?” Here are just a few of Dustin’s obsessions she named: “strange sounds, providing grammatical critiques, and seeking out natural hotsprings at all costs.”
Wondering how wedding story telling like this comes about? Well I can tell you that it doesn’t just happen… as a Celebrant my commitment is to crafting a wedding ceremony that is completely reflective of the couple. This is why they are so much fun to write and so meaningful to listen to.
I spend hours interviewing every couple and having them work on reflections, using a unique process I’ve developed to help me truly ‘get them’. From the reactions of guests, the evidence was in: it worked! Plus, I made the best man get all misty eyed (that’s when I know I’ve done a good job!)
Joyfully yours,
Celebrant Michele Davidson, Vancouver Wedding Officiant, Custom Wedding Ceremonies Vancouver and Whistler
** The beautiful photos are by Wedding Photographer Leanne Petersen at www.leannepedersen.com
A Chinese-Canadian Wedding Ceremony
Working with the Asian community on custom wedding ceremonies is a truly wonderful experience. There is such an admirable sense of family and connection that is missing in many cultures today.
When Emily and Michael met with me nearly a year ahead (Emily is a masterful planner), I was so excited that they picked me to tell their love story and help them enter the path of marriage.
The church looked lovely and had a grand aisle for the beautiful Emily to walk down with her father T.K. He gently pulled back his daughter’s veil before shaking Michael’s hand. And then Emily and Michael were on their way up the steps. They looked like film stars! The sight sort of took my breath away for a moment!
The guests loved that Emily and Michael’s wedding ceremony was different than many other weddings and had so many special elements. “So romantic!” is what many people said afterwards.
Family is an important part of Emily and Michael’s lives. It made the wedding ceremony even more meaningful to have their mothers Terry and Lily join us for a candlelight ceremony, and Emily’s friend Pastor Lowe say a blessing in both Cantonese and English. While we signed the Marriage Register, the couple’s friends and cousins Kitty and Janet sang and played on the piano a song written especially for Emily and Michael for their wedding day.
Well, Emily and Michael all that you’ve hoped and dreamed of, all that you’ve worked so hard for has come true. Now you are married. Now you are husband and wife. I envision you in your new home, surrounded by the happy laughter of friends and family. What’s next for you I wonder?
Joyfully yours,
Celebrant Michele Davidson, Vancouver Wedding Officiant, Custom Wedding Ceremonies Vancouver and Whistler BC
In Standing in the Power of Ceremony, Celebrant Michele muses on what goes into living a life of deep meaning in our fast-paced modern world. And how to use ritual and ceremony to embrace the moments of our lives.