How to Honour Easter if you are Spiritual but not Religious

Okay, so here it is… I identify as a Buddhist, a follower of the teachings of the Buddha.  But I am deeply deeply touched by Easter.  Not the bunnies and yellow, pink, and blue fuzzy things of Easter.  I love the MEANING of Easter.

And so, this Sunday you will find me head bowed, tears wetting my cheeks, in the Anglican church that has served generations of my family in their times of celebration and sorrow.

The resurrection of Christ is for me symbolic of the resurrection of hope, of new beginnings, and of the continuation of life. Rebirth and redemption. The Biblical story reminds me that the beauty of life continues, even after times of immense suffering and darkness.

Historical origins of what we know today to be Easter seem to have evolved from early Christian and Pagan celebrations on this theme of death and resurrection.  Most people know that Pagans have honoured the Spring Equinox for millennia. But isn’t it also interesting to know that Christians celebrate Easter on the first full moon following the Equinox.  Many historians believe the two practices are relationally rooted.

Whatever faith we identify with, or don’t for that matter, we can still find meaning on the Easter weekend.  There is so much symbolism that speaks to universal human truths.

Lent, or the Lenten season, is a 40-day period that honours sacrifice.  Whether one is Christian, Buddhist, Agnostic or something else entirely… most of us believe there is  wisdom and humility to be gained in refraining (aka Fasting).  Think of the many expressions in common language usage about this.  “Bigger is not better.” “More is less.”  And there is the wonderful Japanese expression “Hara Hachi Bu” – which means 80% is enough.

Lent begins with Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday, just the name of it, reminds me that from the earth we come and to the earth return… ashes to ashes…dust to dust.

Then we have Passover, which reminds me of the remarkable adaptability of the human spirit.  Yes, it tells us, we can move through our sorrow.  That for every dark night we endure in our lives there will be a morning where the dawn will bring the light back into our spirit.

On my daily walks, I see evidence of this truth all around. Bulbs pushing up through the dark earth, compost in wheelbarrows waiting to be spread for the growing season, cherry blossoms in bloom, trees and shrubs budded up ready to unfurl their leaves.  And the faces of the recently rain drenched people of Vancouver raised up to greet that unfamiliar yellow orb in the sky!!!

Whether you believe that Christ rose from the dead after crucifixion on the cross, it is clear that Easter is a time of resonance with the human heart. Yes, we gather easter eggs, but we also gather for family and togetherness. Churches fill. The spirit of peace is passed. And the collective heart of humankind that longs for fresh starts and new beginnings, beats with hope.

May you take time this weekend, whatever your faith, to welcome magic and mystery into your own life.

In peace, Celebrant Michele Davidson

Helping a Vancouver family create a Celebration a Life

Recently I worked with the family of a woman who had lived in South Vancouver virtually her entire life.  Known as Grandma, she died just shy of her 91st birthday. Her’s was a long life, a life well lived, and though deeply mourning the family wanted to create a special memorial.  Like many of the families I have the immense privilege to work with as a Celebrant in my ceremonial practice, they wanted a heart based Celebration of Life but weren’t quite sure how to make it happen. Here’s what we did:

I interviewed the daughter to get a sense of Dorothy.  Who she was, what she stood for, her life story, the people she loved, what she liked and disliked.  Also to learn a little about what the family members were experiencing.  This latter piece helped us figure out who wanted to and who might be able to speak at the memorial service.

The family wanted to write and speak the eulogy.  They felt a deep longing to do this and felt it would be a meaningful way to work with their grief.  I agreed and gave them tips on what some of the content might be. The grandchildren also wanted to go through family photos and create a video portrait of their beloved grandma, complete with music.  (It was incredible!)

My role was to write everything else in the ceremony and also to give suggestions for format and readings. Though we had just a few days, everyone worked together and the end result was that every detail was truly resonate with Dorothy’s personality.  Even the flowers chosen for the memorial service were the kind she liked to grow in her garden!

The day of, I arrived early to help the family set up and welcome their guests.  When everyone was settled, I rose to speak.  I try to speak my words in such a way that creates a container for the emotions present in the room.  To create a safe place where family and friends can mourn but also to smile and laugh through their tears.  All emotions at a memorial are natural… I don’t believe there is a ‘correct’ way to be.  I talked of the mysterious cycle of life and death, of which Grandma was well aware… having been an avid gardener.

I also named grief and spoke to the responsibility of community to support a family whose loved one has died.  Death leaves a void that can never be filled, but the support of others not just the day of the ceremony, but in the weeks and months ahead is so helpful to the healing process.

It was a wonderful magical experience because it was so REAL and HONEST.  To be with a family at such an important time in their lives is an honour.  We don’t have many collective experiences these days… a memorial ceremony, when well done, where the family is part of the creation, can be very powerful.

The beautiful camellias in the photo above were from the tree in Dorothy’s garden. I arrived home to find these, along with a card from the family on my doorstep.  Included was a package of Dorothy’s famous thumbprint cookies, lovingly made by her daughter from what is now the family recipe.  It will soon be mine too!  I plan to make some this weekend.

With heart,

Celebrant Michele

Many thanks to Robin Naiman for her always mindful hosting of Mountain View Cemetery’s Celebration Hall and Courtyard.  It is a beautiful space. The best in Vancouver, I think, for a memorial or funeral service.  And certainly the most appropriate for a Celebration of Life!!!