Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

Your child has died. Whether through abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, it is a profound loss. As raw and painful as your loss is, my hope for you is that this can be a time of transformation.

I don’t believe in the platitude of closure. Closure implies closing a book, never to open it again.  Transformation is about being touched by what has happened to you and carrying this new wisdom into future experiences. Transformation comes from clarity and awareness. From being awakened by grief and not beaten down by it. Read More >

Love. A death Anniversary.

Today is the death anniversary of my dearest friend Nicki. November 17, 2004.I don’t consciously mark the date of end of her life, or the manner of her death through suicide. But my body always remembers.

There is no note on the calendar or in my daytimer.But yesterday I began to feel like I was spinning. Had the distinct sense that I was riding a train that just got switched to an entirely new track, going to a new place without my permission. I felt anxious, fluttery, worried, and sad. This morning in my meditation practice, my mind connected with what was going on in my body.  My body reminded me of the single most painful moment of my life, seven years ago. Read More >

One of the reasons I love Vancouver’s Mountain View Cemetery

As you will know by now, I am a big fan of Vancouver’s Mountain View Cemetery. Progressive, inclusive, very community spirited — they even have an artist in resident Ms. Paula Jardine.

Someone I have got to know over the past year or so is Facility Manager Robin Naiman.  She brings such a sense of calm and trust to her work. When you meet Robin to discuss holding a memorial or celebration of life at Mountain View, you know immediately that you are in good hands.  Intrigued by this graceful woman who knows all things related to the Celebration Hall where I have performed a number of Vancouver funerals and memorials, I thought it might be fun to ask her to tell us more about herself and how/why she came to her work at Mountain View Cemetery.  You’ll love what she had to say:

Read More >

How I can help you create a beautiful memorial service

Your loved one has died. If you are not part of a faith community, who do you turn to for assistance with creating a memorial or funeral service?  Or as many people prefer today…a Celebration of Life. As a Funeral Celebrant, this is where I can help you.  I can work with you and your family in a variety of ways to help you have a meaningful experience, with as much or as little support as you need.

In the period immediately following a loved one’s death, you will be in a time of disconnect.  Things will alternately seem real and unreal.  And you will be busy!  There is a LOT to do after a death.  Most people find themselves overwhelmed.

Here’s how I can help: Read More >

Why I work as a Funeral Celebrant

When people see me celebrating marriages and births so joyfully, they sometimes forget that I work on “the death stuff” too.

In fact, my primary motivator in becoming a Celebrant was to work with families in the raw times of their lives… by providing deeply meaningful memorial and funeral services and of course Celebrations of Life ceremonies.

I feel at ease around death.  I’ve mourned and experienced firsthand many deaths. – friends, family, strangers – some of which were tragic deaths including suicide. Instead of numbing out, I chose to fully experience the complexity of grief, with all its swings of emotion. In many ways, death transformed the way I live my life.  One of my guiding personal values is to “To move towards sorrow and not away from it.” Read More >