Part I: Tips for Planning a Memorial, Celebration of Life, or other Ceremony of Remembrance

Celebrating a Life: Planning a memorial

We live in a society that is uncomfortable with death, grief, and mourning. And when it comes to memorials and other celebrations of life we don’t always know how to create them or what to do.  Not surprising, after all most people have had little experience.But let me tell you this — people usually know what they DON’T WANT.  The families I serve in ceremony at end of life DO NOT want maudlin displays of plastic mourning, and they DO NO WANT stale rites by rote. Read More >

One of the reasons I love Vancouver’s Mountain View Cemetery

As you will know by now, I am a big fan of Vancouver’s Mountain View Cemetery. Progressive, inclusive, very community spirited — they even have an artist in resident Ms. Paula Jardine.

Someone I have got to know over the past year or so is Facility Manager Robin Naiman.  She brings such a sense of calm and trust to her work. When you meet Robin to discuss holding a memorial or celebration of life at Mountain View, you know immediately that you are in good hands.  Intrigued by this graceful woman who knows all things related to the Celebration Hall where I have performed a number of Vancouver funerals and memorials, I thought it might be fun to ask her to tell us more about herself and how/why she came to her work at Mountain View Cemetery.  You’ll love what she had to say:

Read More >

How I can help you create a beautiful memorial service

Your loved one has died. If you are not part of a faith community, who do you turn to for assistance with creating a memorial or funeral service?  Or as many people prefer today…a Celebration of Life. As a Funeral Celebrant, this is where I can help you.  I can work with you and your family in a variety of ways to help you have a meaningful experience, with as much or as little support as you need.

In the period immediately following a loved one’s death, you will be in a time of disconnect.  Things will alternately seem real and unreal.  And you will be busy!  There is a LOT to do after a death.  Most people find themselves overwhelmed.

Here’s how I can help: Read More >

Why I work as a Funeral Celebrant

When people see me celebrating marriages and births so joyfully, they sometimes forget that I work on “the death stuff” too.

In fact, my primary motivator in becoming a Celebrant was to work with families in the raw times of their lives… by providing deeply meaningful memorial and funeral services and of course Celebrations of Life ceremonies.

I feel at ease around death.  I’ve mourned and experienced firsthand many deaths. – friends, family, strangers – some of which were tragic deaths including suicide. Instead of numbing out, I chose to fully experience the complexity of grief, with all its swings of emotion. In many ways, death transformed the way I live my life.  One of my guiding personal values is to “To move towards sorrow and not away from it.” Read More >

Helping a Vancouver family create a Celebration a Life

Recently I worked with the family of a woman who had lived in South Vancouver virtually her entire life.  Known as Grandma, she died just shy of her 91st birthday. Her’s was a long life, a life well lived, and though deeply mourning the family wanted to create a special memorial.  Like many of the families I have the immense privilege to work with as a Celebrant in my ceremonial practice, they wanted a heart based Celebration of Life but weren’t quite sure how to make it happen. Here’s what we did:

I interviewed the daughter to get a sense of Dorothy.  Who she was, what she stood for, her life story, the people she loved, what she liked and disliked.  Also to learn a little about what the family members were experiencing.  This latter piece helped us figure out who wanted to and who might be able to speak at the memorial service. Read More >