15 Meaningful Experiences

Sometimes, writing away all alone in my office, I too yearn. Like anyone, I yearn to connect with others like me. So the other day I went to Google and entered these words: ‘Meaning Makers.’

A bunch of stuff came up, but what caught my eye was a hit for 15 Meaningful Experiences. BINGO!

The 15 meanings were determined to be universal values across culture and language (based on a series of interviews.) I can’t take any credit for coming up with this amazing list. It’s from a wonderful book called: Making Meaning: How Successful Businesses Deliver Meaningful Customer Experiences. Though the list was intended to help businesses offer their clients meaningful experiences, the list is completely applicable to all aspects of our human lives.  I found it fascinating reading.

Here are the 15 Meaningful Experiences, with commercial applications omitted because I’m most interested in the personal aspect of their work. I’d love to hear which ones resonated for you. Read More >

Raffi gives his blessing to Modern Celebrant’s Children’s Ceremonies

One of my BIG DREAMS was to meet Raffi Cavoukian, environmental visionary and children’s troubadour. Eight years ago I read his Covenant for Child Honouring. It shifted something inside me. Raffi created a call to create a child-first world, where young people’s rights as individuals are not only respected but honoured. I already cherished the children in my life and this helped me to see them as even more whole than I had previously. It’s beautiful.  Listen to HH Dalai Lama and others read it.

When I began doing Adoption & Baby Naming Ceremonies, I wove the Covenant into my ceremonies. My big dream was to share with Raffi what I was doing and seek his blessing. Last week the most extraordinary thing happened. I put out a call on Twitter, “Does anyone know Raffi? Can you introduce me to him?”  And lo and behold… I heard from the man himself.  To say I was stunned… understatement!

Just days after that tweet, we met in person. Read More >

A real guy who didn’t need a Proposal Planner to ‘Pop the Question’

I was dismayed to read a recent article in the Globe and Mail about Proposal Planning. It seemed to me to be evidence of the growing commercialization of weddings. So I thought I’d share about a real guy who popped the question by making a heartfelt proposal he thought of all by himself.  I have many other stories like this thanks to the cool grooms I’ve worked with over the years. Here is Samuel’s story: Read More >

Putting the Ceremony back into the Wedding

As a Celebrant who prides myself on performing deeply meaningful wedding ceremonies, it’s a little embarrassing to confess that I watch cheesy wedding reality TV. You see I’m an eternal optimist. And because of my profession as a wedding celebrant (officiant), I keep hoping that one of these TV couples will devote as much energy to their wedding ceremony as they do their chocolate dessert fountain!

For that is truly the worst part of these shows for me… how little importance is attached to the ceremony that actually begins the couple’s marriage. All too often on TV, it’s just about the bling.

Fortunately in my practice, real life couples are much more sane! I see a strong trend of couples seeking Fresh, Unique, and Memorable, when it comes to their wedding ceremony.

These smart couples are doing what I refer to as, “Putting the Ceremony back into the Wedding”, They are turning towards meaningful wedding experiences that reflect their personalities and values… And rejecting flashy events where it’s all about the show.

Today’s most progressive weddings are the essence of elegant-simplicity, where the ceremony sets the tone for the couple’s entire day, as well as their wedding memories. Far from being a hoop to jump through, these couples want the ceremony that begins their marriage to be deeply resonate of ‘them’.

I’m so glad to see this. These occasions are incredibly powerful and important. A wedding ceremony written exclusively for and about a couple feels so true, so honest. Guests should be on the edge of their seat as they listen to the story of the couple; they feel they are part of the experience and not merely observing.

A well-written wedding ceremony should be like a tapestry, woven from the hopes and dreams, stories and tales, which the couple shares with their officiant in the collaboration stage. The best wedding ceremonies are always collaborations. Never let an officiant impose a ceremony upon you!

Since a deeply meaningful wedding ceremony is so dependent upon working with the right officiant, it’s so important to find the right person. You should look for someone who is a ceremonial writer, a warm and emotive speaker, a guide, and who you can trust implicitly.

Many officiants have no specific training in ceremony. Look for those who have a sound background in the relevance of ritual and ceremony, knowledge of a wide variety of ceremonial traditions, ability to design and manage the ceremony itself, and a wealth of experience. She or he should be able to truly ‘get you’. Never feel embarrassed about asking for credentials, references, samples, and testimonials. A respectable officiant will never be offended or refuse these.

In closing, let me tell you from personal experience that it’s all too easy to get caught up in the details of planning a wedding. My advice is to treat your ceremony with reverence and find an officiant who will too. Put your ceremony into your wedding day and don’t settle for a boring cookie cutter ceremony written for someone else!

Favorite Ceremony Moments of 2010 (so far)

So far this year I’ve worked on Ceremony Commissions for 22 amazing couples and families — with a few more to go before the end of the year! From Baby Naming Ceremonies to Weddings, every client’s story is unique and magic in its own way. So too were their ceremonies.

Here are a couple of highlights, in no particular order:

Most exuberant and romantic wedding guests of 2010

The Groom was overcome when his Bride walked down the aisle.  The Bride full of joy and laughter. And the wedding guests were utterly ‘in-the-moment’ alternating between beaming smiles and tears!  After riding a high from the powerful emotional arch of this incredible wedding ceremony, I can now declare the winners of my best wedding guests title: The members of Vancouver’s Chinese community.  Perhaps tied with folks in the Jewish and Portuguese communities… but I digress.

Pealing the church bells the traditional way

By hand! After a wedding ceremony at a lovely little chapel in Richmond, I got to pull on the ropes to ring the bells in the steeple — there was something so symbolic and joyful about it.  I had a huge smile on my face!

Joined by What we have in Common Not what sets us Apart

Working with a progressive young couple on a Child Honouring for  their infant daughter, I became aware of significant fractures within the extended family.  Keeping this in mind, we worked together to create a hugely intentional ceremony. It took place in a sheltered natural cathedral in the forest of Stanley Park. We gathered to honour the new life in our midst, as generations have always done.  Many tears were shed and family members who were often distant with one another stood closer than they had in years… joined by what they had in common rather than alienated by what set them apart.  A pivotal experience for everyone present…the emotional easing was palpable.

Portuguese Guests also Rock!

A heritage church filled to the brim with the extended family of a Portuguese Bride…When I did my rehearsal of the guests, they blew me away with their joyful responses to my tips for how to be enthusiastic wedding guests. Knowing that the elder Portuguese relatives were used to more formal Catholic ceremonies, I had been a little nervous about how they would respond to a less traditional wedding. Not to fear!  Apparently they were so touched by the storytelling part of the ceremony (my specialty is telling the story of the couple), they didn’t mind at all!

Two Cultures: One Community

The wedding ceremony of a Chinese Bride and a Jewish Groom was especially meaningful for how it highlighted the striking similarities between two seemingly different cultures.  In the spirit of creating a new family, a new community for the couple, I told a Jewish folktale and then a Chinese one… both of which centred around the story that two people are born destined to be together and once they find each other nothing can break their bond.  Guests were moved by the reading of the Seven Blessings by the couple’s mothers.  The Seven Blessings is a Jewish tradition but given the emphasis on family in both heritages, it was ever so fitting.  After the ceremony, guests were mingling and exclaiming over the similarities. When I can get Jewish and Chinese guests alike shouting Mazel Tov with gusto, I think I’ve done my job well.

The Paparazzi and a Laughing Police Horse

There were a few totally unscripted and hilarious moments at this wedding on the lawn beside the Stanley Park Teahouse.  When I described the Bride as having an off-the-wall sense of humour in the beginning moments of the ceremony, at that exact moment the air was punctuated by the extended neighing of a horse. Everyone burst into laughter at the sight of a Vancouver Police Horse who had sidled up behind the guests, presumably to better hear the ceremony.  Shortly thereafter, I saw a trolley bus full of tourists stop to hear the ceremony too, again directly behind the guests. I couldn’t help but wave, so then did the Bride and Groom followed by all the wedding guests.  The tourist paparazzi waved back with much vigor… cue a frenzy of clicking cameras!  Absolutely delightful.

Hope you’ve enjoyed reading these.  More moments to come at the end of the year.

In joy,

Celebrant Michele Davidson